Primeval Scream

Maybe I need to rethink this.

I won't let this story beat me.

I must persevere.

It's like we're facing each other in the Thunderdome, except Tina Turner isn't around to show us her fantastic legs and nice rack. But, yes, as it stands now both of us have entered...and only one will walk out.

I won't let this story beat me. I will not quit.

Thinking It Through

Today I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and the first thing that popped into my mind was the story I'm working on.

You see, it's been worrying me. And I knew if I was waking up that fuggin' early then there was something seriously wrong with the story as I envisioned it and had so far written.

So I thought about it most of the morning and finally realized I was telling the story I wanted to tell, I was even telling the story that needed to be told. But I wasn't telling it the right way.

Let me explain. As it stands I'm in the middle of a flashback and the next scene will be another flashback spinning off that flashback. Now, I'm not one of the Ivory Tower Commandment From On High Types who says flashbacks in fiction is always wrong. Come to think of it, I kinda like flashbacks. But two in a row is probably a serious technical error and it hurts the story in a major way. So I thought some more while sitting with my Writing Buddy (and also in the midst of bugging the hell out of her while she was trying to write a book review, you know, doing actual writing work, but I kept chatterboxing and then she yelled at me to shut up and I kind of got the hint) and I figured out how I should have been writing this story in the first place.

So, yeah, I'm relieved. Because this has been going on for two days and like I said when I'm waking up in the middle of the morning and the story is nagging me that something is fundamentally wrong with it...well, you either gotta fix it or let yourself go slowly bonkers.

I'm not telling you this so I can show you how I'm such a dedicated writer eaten up with angst and desire for the perfection my art, and how you should not only pity me but hold me in esteem for my willingness to sacrifice to The Muse . Not a bit of it. I'm just mentioning it because sometimes, as a writer, you have to go through this kind of irritating bullshit before you see the story as it must be, not as you think it should be.

It was a good lesson for me. One I learned a long time ago but had forgotten. It was a good reminder, and one I needed.

This weekend I'm going out on the deck and start this story over. I'm looking forward to it. I can see it in my head much clearer now.

Man. It's a relief. Now I have to try and get that vision down on paper.

The hard part.

A Good Start

I found the beginning I needed (no, the beginning the story needed) and wrote 2300 words this afternoon and tonight. I feel good about the progress I have made so far.

I think it's a good start. A very good start. And if I don't fuck this up it might be kinda good.

At least I'm past the beginning and into the story now. It's really starting to open up in a big way for me, too, which is always helpful. And I want to thank everyone who had suggestions for me. I really do appreciate your help and your concern. That means a lot to me.

I'm tired now. Bath and a bit of reading, maybe a Gunsmoke radio episode or two, and I'm off to bed.

Exercise in Frustration

I don't see how to start this. I know the story, but I don't see the Why. And I can't write it if I don't know that. So it's kind of important.

Some stories you can feel your way through as you go. I don't think this is that kind of story.

I have to know the Why.

I've discarded like six different beginnings because they're not showing me the Why behind the story I want to tell. The story itself is correct. I trust my instinct on that point. But the Why is escaping me. It's like trying to pin a slimy pumpkin seed down with your thumb. No matter what amount of pressure you apply it keeps popping free.

It's very frustrating.

"Fishing the Styx"

"Hell isn't a gated community like heaven. Everyone is welcome here."

Fishing the River Styx

If you had money on Haxan you lost. My next story will have the working title "Fishing the Styx". I've made notes about it this afternoon: character names, place descriptions. I'll start it tomorrow when I meet my writing buddy at the coffee shop.

I"m looking forward to working on this story. I like the idea of fishing the Styx. Imagine what you could catch....

Better yet, imagine what you wouldn't want to catch....

Clearing the Decks

I've finished edits for both "High Moon" and "Till Death Do Us Part" and now I'm turning my attention to my next story. I'm writing these things faster than I can get 'em out to magazines for consideration. Which, I suppose, is better than not having stories to submit. But I expect I'll do some mailings either tomorrow or next day before the weekend arrives and get some of them out.

I know I said I was going to write something different, but let's face it: I'm stuck in Haxan. I like the characters and I like the setting and I'm nowhere near done telling stories about them. But I've also got a list of other story ideas and there is one or two that've been knocking around in my brain. I'll review my list tomorrow when I meet my writing buddy and see what I want to write about next.

I'm not particularly worried, just kind of curious what the next story is going to be about.

But if I were you I'd put my money on Haxan. Just saying.

Editing For Fun And Profit

I've learned long ago never to do a time study for my stories. What little I ever get paid in comparison to the hours I put in writing them is enough to make the most optimistic person go bonkers.

Today I'm going to edit "High Moon" since it's been sitting cold for a couple of weeks. Now would be a good time to take a look at it. Then I have a couple of business emails to write and then I can turn my attention to the next story.

Still not sure about that one, though.

I have some other stories out with editors. Haven't heard anything recently. This is a slow time with publishing, I think. Slower than usual, that is.

Story Finished!

I finished the new Haxan story, "Till Death Do Us Part" this afternoon. I'm still getting over this cold, but I felt guilty not working on the story even though I probably could have used another three or four days to build up my strength and health. I'm not saying this to show how committed I am, just to note that if I was feeling guilty for not writing then I must have been doing better than I felt.

This is one of the few stories I have ever written that is slated for a specific (and themed) market. Mostly, I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. Along with the length, right at 2,000 words, it was a bit of a challenge but I don't mind challenging myself when I write. It helps keep me interested.

If all I did was write the same story over and over I would bore myself. I like finding new ways to tell stories, and I think I did it in this short story.

So I'm pretty satisfied with what I accomplished. Now I can turn my attention to a new story. I know I said earlier I was going to write something different -- something non-Haxan -- and I think I will. It should be a nice change, a sort of break. Then I can go back to Haxan.

I'm not done with that town yet. Not by a damn sight.

Let's Play Catch Up While We Have The Chance

I'm finally getting over this bronchial crud I've had. It's the first day in about a week I've felt halfway human. Assuming I ever was. There's occasionally discussion of that from time to time. I have my own views.

I know I'm feeling better. I'm thinking about the story again and want to set the end of the week down as a timetable to finish. Pesky timetables! But I feel I can do this without driving myself into a relapse.

In other news: I'm about to hit the wall over Obama. I don't think he understands he's in a fight for his life. He'd better wake up. But you know what? If he doesn't, fine, I'm moving on and done with the Democrats. I'm already a Cubs fan. I don't need Double Losers in my life. Hell, and I'm a writer. That's Triple Loser. Sheesh. Cut me some slack, Universe.

I want coffee. I ate breakfast today which was a big difference from the rest of the week being sick and all, but I didn't have any coffee. To be truthful I probably feel better for not having all that caffeine flowing through my veins. Maybe I should rethink this.

I heard Five Star dropped their SF/F line. Bummer, but not surprising. Mystery and romance pay better and are easier to sell to libraries. SF (I can't speak as much for fantasy) has always been the redheaded stepchild of literature. They keep trying to pretend they're not, but they are and it's a reality we who work in the genre have to live with. Of course, how Hollywood depicts the genre doesn't help much, either. Most people think SF is all about bug-eyed monsters and rocket ships. Good luck trying to get that shit published nowadays.

It's been raining a lot lately and now it looks like we're get some over-splash from Hurricane Ike. All this wet weather isn't helping my cough and chest congestion any. Well, like I said, this post is pretty much all about me.

Chester went to the vet last Friday. He has a rash on his tummy, but it's nothing just a reaction to the grass. The vet wasn't concerned.

I've let slip through my fingers the last week getting my stories out to editors. Gotta get back on track with that, too.

Okay, time for some lunch. I see hot soup and crackers in my future.

Now. Wasn't that painless? Just say "yes" and move on. It's what I often do to keep myself quiet. :)

On Rejection

Even the "Stop killing trees!" has some piquancy. But it's the "I'll hold onto this unless something better comes along" that is really enervating.

"Till Death Do Us Part"

I started work on the new story today. Got three pages done. I'd like to keep this under (okay, around) 2,000 words because that's how I see the story length for this one. There's just no acceptable reason to stretch this one out because if I did that I think the story would lose impact.

We're getting a little wind from the remanants of Gustav. Don't know if it will rain. Whatever, I will work on the story tomorrow, except the AT&T guy is supposed to come out tomorrow and replace the lines so my Internet will work right. Well, he'll have to prove that.