Primeval Scream

Maybe I need to rethink this.

I won't let this story beat me.

I must persevere.

It's like we're facing each other in the Thunderdome, except Tina Turner isn't around to show us her fantastic legs and nice rack. But, yes, as it stands now both of us have entered...and only one will walk out.

I won't let this story beat me. I will not quit.

Thinking It Through

Today I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and the first thing that popped into my mind was the story I'm working on.

You see, it's been worrying me. And I knew if I was waking up that fuggin' early then there was something seriously wrong with the story as I envisioned it and had so far written.

So I thought about it most of the morning and finally realized I was telling the story I wanted to tell, I was even telling the story that needed to be told. But I wasn't telling it the right way.

Let me explain. As it stands I'm in the middle of a flashback and the next scene will be another flashback spinning off that flashback. Now, I'm not one of the Ivory Tower Commandment From On High Types who says flashbacks in fiction is always wrong. Come to think of it, I kinda like flashbacks. But two in a row is probably a serious technical error and it hurts the story in a major way. So I thought some more while sitting with my Writing Buddy (and also in the midst of bugging the hell out of her while she was trying to write a book review, you know, doing actual writing work, but I kept chatterboxing and then she yelled at me to shut up and I kind of got the hint) and I figured out how I should have been writing this story in the first place.

So, yeah, I'm relieved. Because this has been going on for two days and like I said when I'm waking up in the middle of the morning and the story is nagging me that something is fundamentally wrong with it...well, you either gotta fix it or let yourself go slowly bonkers.

I'm not telling you this so I can show you how I'm such a dedicated writer eaten up with angst and desire for the perfection my art, and how you should not only pity me but hold me in esteem for my willingness to sacrifice to The Muse . Not a bit of it. I'm just mentioning it because sometimes, as a writer, you have to go through this kind of irritating bullshit before you see the story as it must be, not as you think it should be.

It was a good lesson for me. One I learned a long time ago but had forgotten. It was a good reminder, and one I needed.

This weekend I'm going out on the deck and start this story over. I'm looking forward to it. I can see it in my head much clearer now.

Man. It's a relief. Now I have to try and get that vision down on paper.

The hard part.

A Good Start

I found the beginning I needed (no, the beginning the story needed) and wrote 2300 words this afternoon and tonight. I feel good about the progress I have made so far.

I think it's a good start. A very good start. And if I don't fuck this up it might be kinda good.

At least I'm past the beginning and into the story now. It's really starting to open up in a big way for me, too, which is always helpful. And I want to thank everyone who had suggestions for me. I really do appreciate your help and your concern. That means a lot to me.

I'm tired now. Bath and a bit of reading, maybe a Gunsmoke radio episode or two, and I'm off to bed.

Exercise in Frustration

I don't see how to start this. I know the story, but I don't see the Why. And I can't write it if I don't know that. So it's kind of important.

Some stories you can feel your way through as you go. I don't think this is that kind of story.

I have to know the Why.

I've discarded like six different beginnings because they're not showing me the Why behind the story I want to tell. The story itself is correct. I trust my instinct on that point. But the Why is escaping me. It's like trying to pin a slimy pumpkin seed down with your thumb. No matter what amount of pressure you apply it keeps popping free.

It's very frustrating.

"Fishing the Styx"

"Hell isn't a gated community like heaven. Everyone is welcome here."

Fishing the River Styx

If you had money on Haxan you lost. My next story will have the working title "Fishing the Styx". I've made notes about it this afternoon: character names, place descriptions. I'll start it tomorrow when I meet my writing buddy at the coffee shop.

I"m looking forward to working on this story. I like the idea of fishing the Styx. Imagine what you could catch....

Better yet, imagine what you wouldn't want to catch....

Clearing the Decks

I've finished edits for both "High Moon" and "Till Death Do Us Part" and now I'm turning my attention to my next story. I'm writing these things faster than I can get 'em out to magazines for consideration. Which, I suppose, is better than not having stories to submit. But I expect I'll do some mailings either tomorrow or next day before the weekend arrives and get some of them out.

I know I said I was going to write something different, but let's face it: I'm stuck in Haxan. I like the characters and I like the setting and I'm nowhere near done telling stories about them. But I've also got a list of other story ideas and there is one or two that've been knocking around in my brain. I'll review my list tomorrow when I meet my writing buddy and see what I want to write about next.

I'm not particularly worried, just kind of curious what the next story is going to be about.

But if I were you I'd put my money on Haxan. Just saying.